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I hate to sound so needy. I'm turning 20 and I'm about ready to quit life. I need someone to help me understand what is going on right now. I need something to keep me going. I've been sick for a while, and went away, got a little better, then came back home. Things have started to go down hill again. I need something to live for. Is anything going on in the love-life? Can someone help? Please?
Thank you.
Steph
Thank you.
Steph
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Re: Needing a little help...
Thu, October 22, 2009 - 10:19 AMDear Stephanie..
Love comes from within..
Love for your self...
I once hated my own being.. being alive..
In that state it was impossible for me to connect..
I took on the effort of working on myself..
I started reading a lot.. making ammends with people around me..
It is impossible for others to look in your head..
If you can share your love. through bodylanguage. and words.. love will come to you..
I started meditation.. the basics and came to a technique that worked for me to connect to my own being in a loving way..
These days I am able to share this love I carry with everyone..
I wrote this technique down on tribe a while ago...
Here is the link..
people.tribe.net/9b3e6ce5-...220c3c73b7
Let me know if this works out for you..
Much love
Geert -
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Re: Needing a little help...
Thu, October 22, 2009 - 3:53 PMThank you Geert for you post. It looks really interesting. I think it would help if it were on recording of some sort, so it could be listened to, for meditation.
Would anyone be able to give a reading at all?
Thank you.
Steph -
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Re: Needing a little help...
Thu, October 22, 2009 - 4:50 PMthere is also a tribe on tribe the depression tribe
readings ar ento goign to help you if you need to get yourself love goign and I feel thats what you need to do.
At 20 there are many choices with people - drinking drugs, goofing off fast friends poor diet
get into yourself for a good life
study something which will give you knowledge in living healthfully
wholoe foods
go to a place where meditation is taught -
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Re: Needing a little help...
Thu, October 22, 2009 - 5:02 PMSee that is the problem. I would love to go study, unfortunately i just got out of the hospital after a 3 month stay. I was in school last year and had to quit my year after first semester because I got sick and had to home before i had a heart attack. As of now, I can't study for a while until I know I am stable enough to do this. I'm frustrated. Trust me. -
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Re: Needing a little help...
Thu, October 22, 2009 - 5:25 PMI have been where you are now, Stephanie, and at roughly the same age ~ 18/19. It took me some time. During that period, I developed phobias and had panic attacks. I could not stand to be with anyone else, and I could not stand being alone. While it sounds like limbo, it felt more like hell. I was not on medication, but I was in therapy. It took me about a year to venture out of the house on my own to participate in anything, and I wound up thrusting myself into a very large school where I took philosophy courses, caught up on what I figured were my math deficiencies, took up calligraphy, edited the school literary magazine, won writing prizes, and left with a 4.0 GPA. All the while shaking uncontrollably around people and feeling terrified that at any moment somehow the ground would open up and swallow me and half-wishing it would.
It might be interesting to take a look into astrology. I have found that it can explain quite a bit and can suggest ways to cope with difficult circumstances, which, just so you know, many people are experiencing at the present time.
I don't really think that at this point what you need is a "reading" per se, since I think you already know where you are and what is "expected" in terms of where you need to go and how. What you need now is to embark on the hard work of becoming the stronger, more self-sufficient person that you will eventually be, and you know that. But part of that hard work is knowing when you need to rest, recuperate, and reflect. This is that time.
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Re: Needing a little help...
Thu, October 22, 2009 - 8:47 PMyes you can study
you can check books out of the library
no one said you have to be in school
you can even simply draw for 25 minutes every day
draw your face with a smile
draw a future of love
drawing opens up doors in your mind and can al;low you to hav efun with your art materials
dont draw pictures if you dont want to
draw designs
lots of color
You have to be really honest with yourslef- you ar ento telling us if you were in a hospital for cancer or kidney failure or depression
3 months in a hospital is a logn time whatever it was for
you are out NOW
that is huge
BUT if you fall into poor me my life is over because there is stuff I cant do,, you can remain stuck there
you have a new lease on life out of a hospital
use that lease
take walks or run around in a wheelchair smellign the frageance of autumn rain and leaves
send Halloween cards to everyone you know
cherish the richness of each day
really really people make their own lives
you make your own reading -
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Re: Needing a little help...
Thu, October 22, 2009 - 11:26 PMYes, she can make her own reading, I do believe. -
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Re: Needing a little help...
Fri, October 23, 2009 - 8:42 AMThank you everyone for your posts. I was in the hospital for anorexia. Now, being out of the hospital, I find myself struggling with my past, and trying hard not to deal with it using my eating disorder. I guess right now I'm still trying to keep looking ahead...the hospital was only to get my weight stable. It was the first step to helping the eating disorder. Now comes the challenge... -
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Re: Needing a little help...
Fri, October 23, 2009 - 3:01 PMJust remember that is all about what you see and not what anyone else sees. Like you are in a closet of mirrors. The fun house effect is not real. And you cannot control anything with it ~ not others and not yourself ~ you become a slave, not a master. Control is an illusion, as they say. And you know anxiety shuts the appetite down completely. So fretting is your cue not to fret ~ really. It is possible to will yourself to health. You just have to make up your mind. Eventually you have to figure out that most of the stuff is pretty small shit. No need to prove that, either, regardless of what you think about other people's expectations. All you really need to consider is crafting your own expectations because you are fundamentally free, and nothing can really take that away from you unless you permit it to do that. It really is completely your choice. -
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This is the maximum depth. Additional responses will not be threaded.
Re: Needing a little help...
Sat, October 24, 2009 - 4:44 PMyou have to eat period
its not about your past
you can decide to not live in the past
you can decide to spend years getting counseling discussing the past
you have a choice to make as I have said over and over
live in the present of life
there is a lot to be grateful for
there is much which youcan do
one chapter in a book maybe today
one walk around the block
anxiety dfoes nto make you a cripple unless you decide to let it
I have recovered from both. I do know.
get your butt off that chair and go out and decide to live,.
Every body has a past and a family which may have hurt them and other things happen.
Some are more affected by thi than others.
The truith is that the world will go on with or without you.
You have 4 limbs. You didnt lose a leg or arm. You can walk and read and draw.
You actually could thank anyone on here who has written back to you.
But it woudl appear that you are too stuck on yourself and your p[roblems.
Did you thank anyoen at the hospital? They probably went through a lot to get you healthy enough to come home.
Are you thanking your parents? Someone paid fo ryou to go there. Some people dotn hav e medical care or insurance.
Do you go to church?
Do you see anything good in life?
Get out of your negative head and sweep a sidewalk.
then go to a hospitral where people have neck injuries and cant move any part of their body and bring them flowers. There is a much bigger picture than you. -
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Re: Needing a little help...
Sat, October 24, 2009 - 6:30 PMEveryone's questions are great, and hopefully, they help. I also suggest other stimulation from simple sources. Listen to music, and don't wear headphones. Allow it to fill you and the room you're in...in fact, it's better to open the windows and go outside. Draw the beauty of a butterfly's dance, the fox chasing the squirrel and all of nature's delights. Color them avidly with imagination - there aren't mistakes in art, but lost chances of capturing it are what you want to avoid. Write poetry, and journal often. If necessary, toss any venting into the recycle bin, but do write it down simply to get your thoughts from being bottled up.
Internally, I suggest that you seek out a naturopath. Sunlight would do wonders as Vitamin D3 comes from the sun and scientifically has been shown to correct nervous system disorders and mood disorders, including schizophrenia, ADD, bipolar and others. (You can get this in supplement form, which is advisable as we receive less sunlight in the northern hemisphere at this time of year.) Omega3 fatty acids which you can get in foods also provide enrichment for the brain which can assist with focus, mood, strengthening nerve transmitters, and these help keep one's heart healthy. You can get all of these at GNC, another health food store, or www.vitacost.com for very cheap. Also, a point of interest: recently, I read a book by two Canadian naturopathic doctors. They wrote about the many diseases they corrected with nutrition and supplements alone. Among these, it was learned that zinc has corrected eating disorders for many. Zinc deficiency is a link because those who stop eating often do because they've lost their sense of taste, and this is a symptom of this deficiency. Match this to magnesium, and you'll feel calmer, and more in control. Magnesium, zinc and calcium have inverse relationships with one another, and perform much better when working together.
Lastly, every morning when you wake up and every night when you go to bed, stand in front of the mirror and tell yourself honestly something about yourself that is positive and affirming. With each passing day, promise yourself to add to this list daily. In time, you'll not only grow in self worth, but you'll ponder its truth in a more actualized way. It takes time...all of it. Good luck.
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Re: Needing a little help...
Sun, October 25, 2009 - 12:00 AMEasy there. This is a healing time, not one for recriminations. That totally is NOT what is needed now. -
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Re: Needing a little help...
Sun, October 25, 2009 - 7:40 AMyou can think what you want to think amiable
growing up and taking responsibility for one's day and life is important
one can languish in 'I am a victim/martyr mode - please give me a reading so I know if my life is worth anything' or one can go out and begin to make life worthwhile.
She spent 3 months getting care to have any life.. it is her turn to live it.
I made it rather blunt after giving thoughtful helpful advice.
One of the serious symptoms of anorexia is self-absortion and unwillingness to reach out to others in any way. I made clear suggestions of how to do so. They are nto the only ones available- why dont you make suggestions./
You tell people their advice is wrong - where is your advice?
Do you suggest that she do the opposite of what I suggested? Saty inside and stay in bed and not thank anyone and not try or think about drawing or writing or walking? You then would be sending her back to a hsopital. -
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Re: Needing a little help...
Sun, October 25, 2009 - 9:42 AMMy advice was/is to take time to heal and not stress out about what other people think. Anxiety over "taking responsibility," "growing up," being grateful, etc., etc., etc., will only exacerbate the problem. Eating disorders and anxiety disorders often go together. Pressuring a person to "do something" is highly illogical under those circumstances, imo. -
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Re: Needing a little help...
Sun, October 25, 2009 - 2:15 PMand exactly how does she heal each day as she takes time?
lie arounbd doing nothing?
or beginning doing something/
anorexia is serious
many young women return to hospitals and their struggle which becomes that of their family as well is intense
hospitalization is about 1,000.00 per day
choices - go back or liv eoutside?
depression tribes are on tribe -
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Re: Needing a little help...
Sun, October 25, 2009 - 5:36 PMBy resting. If that means "doing nothing" for a while, yes, indeed. There is no sin nor shame in doing nothing when that is what you need to do. What would be bad news is pressuring yourself or allowing yourself to be pressured into doing "something" when that creates stress or anxiety through an imagined sense of urgency or obligation. That is a great prescription for relapse, imo.
Sometimes the best thing to do is nothing. What's the rush? She has a lot of time ahead of her if she heals slowly and steadily now, taking baby steps when able, letting the mind find its peace in surrendering to dealing with as little as possible when that is what is needed. I'd venture to say that trying to do too much, which may well mean almost anything at all, is precisely what could send her back to the hospital, which is where, btw, she was basically "doing nothing" and improved. -
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Re: Needing a little help...
Mon, October 26, 2009 - 7:57 AMneither of us are doctors or mental helath therapists
I suggest she go to the depression tribe adn write read
as anorexia and anxiety are exacaberated( big word) by lak of self-worth and lack of self-definition I gave ideas.
I am opposed to your suggestions that she do nothing - that is in exssence withdrawal which bercomes the opposite of ancxiety adn a new mental health problem.
While not a therapist I have completed many graduate level courses in mental health.
However in reality this is only tribe adn a person who comes here askign for help is not very stable if defining their potential health here. -
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Re: Needing a little help...
Mon, October 26, 2009 - 9:05 AMI wasn't defining my health here. I came for something to look forward to. For your information, I am not doing nothing, as I wrote you in a personal message, unfortunately the message board was not working for me lastnight, so I couldnt respond here lastnight. I am not looking to be fixed. -
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Re: Needing a little help...
Mon, October 26, 2009 - 9:38 AMI have asked the moderator to weigh in here.
I believe there are murky ethics issues which need to be addressed.
I have no more to say on this topic and do stand by my words. -
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Re: Needing a little help...
Mon, October 26, 2009 - 10:06 AMOh, for Pete's sake.
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Re: Needing a little help...
Mon, October 26, 2009 - 12:34 PMWell if I had have thought this was going to be such an issue I never would have posted in the first place. Trust me. I didn't mean to get you all upset. This isn't a life or death situation. I seriously don't understand what the huge problem is. I find it frustrating that you seem to be the only one with the problem here. I'd prefer if we finished this conversation through private message instead of on the thread because it is pointless to be taking up space. We are just frustrating others. -
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Re: Needing a little help...
Mon, October 26, 2009 - 12:39 PMThank you everyone for posting. It has been very helpful to hear everyone's feedback. I'm sorry things have ended up in a bit of an argument. But thank you a lot. -
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Re: Needing a little help...
Mon, October 26, 2009 - 12:58 PMPar for the course with certain parties, I'm afraid. Not your fault.
I hope you find some good books and websites that will give you good dreams and ideas about what will turn you on in your life. This is the time in your life to explore and dream. Do it while you have the chance. -
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Re: Needing a little help...
Mon, October 26, 2009 - 1:03 PMthere are no faults
thisis a website .. not a medical facility and words written to another who may be vulnerable and which once written remain online which others may read aare potentially dangerous, or possibly misunderstood
Once again I asked the moderator to weigh in.
Amiable you are not the moderator. We have different opinions from time to time. Yout end to take it personally and make aspersions. I am a bit sick of it. But you live in your own dramna. -
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Re: Needing a little help...
Mon, October 26, 2009 - 1:52 PMI don't recall any medical advice being given here, cathy. I really don't see what the need is for the moderator to "weigh in" since about all that is happening is that you are overreacting to my saying that rest and doing nothing can be a good thing. I have done that, and it might be good for you to try, too. You might overreact a little less if you did.
It looks to me like the OP would prefer to talk with you privately, as she has said. And I have to agree with her, I don't see what the big deal is either.
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Re: Needing a little help...
Mon, October 26, 2009 - 2:02 PMYogamoon...
You crack me up...
I hope you see the hypocricy in your words..
Get laid... that's good for being happy...
Stephanie..
I see a future for you where you will be very happy..
You will find a lover who understands you.. who is willing to understand you..
You will find out that you can fuel the passion for eachother by putting in effort..
You will find sexual freedom..
You will find yourself one day.. and you will be surprised what a nice person you really are...
You will find a personal view of life which will help you in understanding it all...
There is an animal that will help you.. it is a deceased animal..
It will come to you in a dream and answer a question that you never dared to ask..
You will be so free you will get lost in opportunity..
Then you will find a beautiful subject that inspires you for life..
And all throughout these events you will stay close to your heart...
Good luck
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Re: Needing a little help...
Tue, October 27, 2009 - 9:34 PMHi Moderator here.
as a moderator I strive not to be a babysitter, or referee, I simply step in IF certain major lines are crossed, like flaming or threats or any thing bordering on illegal or out right dangerous.
I do not see any of those things happening, but I will encourage all of you to seek balance in your selves. It is both wise and prudent to both do many of the good things suggested for self help, as well as seeking additional professional support when needed. Yogamoon is correct this is not a tribe of medical or mental health professionals. However I do not see any medical advice given or any one saying not to seek medical help should it be needed. So it all falls under general friendly advice.
The question was what to look forward too, some have offered that. I believe that is positive.
Please treat each other with kindness and respect.
Gigi -
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Re: Needing a little help...
Tue, October 27, 2009 - 10:08 PMSorry you were even bothered. But I suppose you must be used to her by now.
You know, too, you could post here once in a while. This tribe is rather dead but for the people who seek help and "readings.' You could do more than seem like a ghost, like get a topic going or something. Sheesh. -
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Re: Needing a little help...
Wed, October 28, 2009 - 6:02 AMHonestly Tribe is down so much and so unreliable I have difficulty posting anywhere. Even tribes I was always very involved with... this tribe I was moderately involved with and discovered one day I was just made moderator. -
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Re: Needing a little help...
Fri, November 6, 2009 - 3:12 PMWOW Flaming anger in a PM from an ungrateful lying wench!
BE WARE
Anger projected onto others is serious. This is a tribe about clairvoynace. It is not for caring for mental illness. As I said before none of us are medical professionals. I will say however that flaming angry ranting PMs are indications of lack of mental balance or serenity.
get help.
Something drove you to anorexia. get that help or you will definitely go back into it again. -
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Re: Needing a little help...
Fri, November 6, 2009 - 3:30 PM*sighs* as requested by Yogamoon. I'm putting myself out there...lol hoping to help this whole situation work out itself because personally...im at a loss...
Hello,
>
> I don't even know where to begin with some of
> your postings on my thread. There were some
> things that I had let go in the beginning and
> after these last couple of posts, I seriously
> need to say something.
>
> You have a lot to say considering you have no
> idea who I am. To stick me in the typical
> stereotype of a young adult who drinks and does
> drugs, etc, upsets me even more.
>
> You make me out to sounding like a self-
> absorbed, ungrateful person, but I have to say
> that is further from the truth. I am not lazy. I
> am not doing nothing. I have thanked all of my
> healthcare providers and still keep in contact
> with them. I am still in contact with the girls
> I was with when i was in the program. I DONT
> want to relapse. I did thank the people that
> posted.
>
> As for the stereotype that you have about us
> with anorexia...us being self-absorbed. I dont
> know about all of us, but I have to say, with
> the 13 or so that I was with, that again was
> further from the truth. They were the most
> giving, most selfless people I knew. THAT was
> the problem. We are so busy taking care of
> everyone else's needs...so stuck on taking care
> of everyone else, that we choose not to take
> care of ourselves. That is how we get ourselves
> here. Sick.
>
> The fact is, I spent years being the one that
> people came to when they needed help. My parents
> leaned on me when they needed help. I was
> trained to counsel peers in highschool in
> anything from bullying to suicide...and I used
> it on a daily basis. I was in college for Child
> and Youth Work to counsel troubled youth and
> children (group homes, etc). Do I regret doing
> this? No. In fact, I still love doing it. Right
> now I'm struggling with a burn-out. In the past
> three months I've been cut off from everyone I
> was counselling, and was forced to take a look
> at myself and my past (something I was
> avoiding). It has been extremely overwhelming
> and I'm still struggling to deal with it.
>
> For now, I'm starting off by volunteering at a
> hospital that works with children and youth that
> are developmentally challenged or disabled.
>
> I'm sorry if I frustrated you.
>
> Stephanie -
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Re: Needing a little help...
Fri, November 6, 2009 - 5:54 PMStephanie..
Please ignore yogamoon...
She's a nutter
You are going through a lot lately..
And you look at yourself a lot...
There are things that you wish to ignore from the past.. they are still there, they will be there.
It is important that you deal with past events.. so you can become a wholer person...
Remember
Stay close to your heart..
You have the power in you..
Reflections can be ugly...
But they become beautiful when you kiss them..
Things were as they were
Things are as they are...
The future is unknown..
If you embrace your inner light...
Loving past, present and future as one...
You will be there where you need to be..
Keep fire in your heart -
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Re: Needing a little help...
Fri, November 6, 2009 - 6:14 PMStephanie-
Geert is perhaps one of the most articulate people here, IMO. It's also helpful to see what in the world compliments who you wish to become. We do choose what we allow to influence us, and it does make us what we become. Choose these things and people wisely. Recently, I've been adding new jobs to my life to cope with an anticipated cut in hours in a few months time. However, doing so has unearthed some tension I was not experiencing prior. How I chose to let this rule me, or control what I become, is a decision all my own. Sure, it's not easy, but to allow someone else's negativity to envelope you is to throw away an oppty to give yourself the best you deserve. And when avoiding such folks becomes impossible, imagine your favorite holiday or aspect of nature in your mind. It does take you to a place that's healing.
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Re: Needing a little help...
Fri, November 6, 2009 - 5:06 PMYou proje cted that I said you were using drugs etc..
READ it again.,.
I sai t here were choices.. simply put choices.
LOOK
I offered you ideas.Thu, October 22, 2009 - 4:50 PM
Re: Needing a little help...
there is also a tribe on tribe the depression tribe
readings ar ento goign to help you if you need to get yourself love goign and I feel thats what you need to do.
At 20 there are many choices with people - drinking drugs, goofing off fast friends poor diet
get into yourself for a good life
study something which will give you knowledge in living healthfully
wholoe foods
go to a place where meditation is taught there is also a tribe on tribe the depression tribe
you later complained that you couldnt even study.. like you couldnt even go to a library..
You never said thank you to us.
You are dealing with a lot likely.
Again - you are not the only one on the planet.
I choose to release concern empathy to you. Your anger is yours only. You ar e young and can find your way.
BTW copying PMs is against Tribe policy. -
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Re: Needing a little help...
Fri, November 6, 2009 - 6:12 PMI'm officially done talking to you. I have been trying to talk this out but I've noticed this isn't working. You were the one that said to post the PM on the board. I'm sorry, but I didn't realize it was against Tribe policy. Although, you suggested it. I am through arguing with you.
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